i need to stop waking up at five and seven A.M. and i need to stop having nightmares. getting robbed by your ex girl in a setup is a mindfuck, even if it's in dreams.
anyway, now that i've broken myself i was wondering if anyone knows how to fix it asap because i can't really do broken right now.
2008年12月18日 星期四
2008年5月22日 星期四
what dreams may come...
okay i admit, i'm a nostalgic guy
i can't say that i'm a master of remembering the details of the past but maybe thats why it's so easy for me to be nostalgic, because i can forget all the things that are bad about something i used to adore so that in the end, i yearn for what once was.
sometimes i forget too fast and think i adore something when it's merely a passing infatuation. ahhh....the brash mistakes of the youth, i may not be that young, but i sure know how to live like i am.
in some ways i'm like dorian gray, minus the destructive tendencies and of course, dashingly good looks. i can see how we are similar though, how we are both attracted to the corrupt yet we are both naturally good in our cores.
still, i am losing my focus here. i write this because of a dream.
it is a reoccurring dream i have. it comes and goes at it's own fancy, and i may go weeks or months without having it, but when i least expect it this dream pounces on me in my sleep and leaves me yearning when i wake.
because you see, i'm very nostalgic = /
i can't say that i'm a master of remembering the details of the past but maybe thats why it's so easy for me to be nostalgic, because i can forget all the things that are bad about something i used to adore so that in the end, i yearn for what once was.
sometimes i forget too fast and think i adore something when it's merely a passing infatuation. ahhh....the brash mistakes of the youth, i may not be that young, but i sure know how to live like i am.
in some ways i'm like dorian gray, minus the destructive tendencies and of course, dashingly good looks. i can see how we are similar though, how we are both attracted to the corrupt yet we are both naturally good in our cores.
still, i am losing my focus here. i write this because of a dream.
it is a reoccurring dream i have. it comes and goes at it's own fancy, and i may go weeks or months without having it, but when i least expect it this dream pounces on me in my sleep and leaves me yearning when i wake.
because you see, i'm very nostalgic = /
2008年5月21日 星期三
flowers bloom
after the rain the roads are muddy and there's puddles everywhere
and we clearly see, the footsteps in this journey through this life we lead
and i try to fight this loneliness
but the tears make it so hard to see
even through the scars and memories
i won't forget you and me
so radiantly shining through
the horizon as it rises high
and the wind carries this star, beneath the memories
and we clearly see, the footsteps in this journey through this life we lead
and i try to fight this loneliness
but the tears make it so hard to see
even through the scars and memories
i won't forget you and me
so radiantly shining through
the horizon as it rises high
and the wind carries this star, beneath the memories
2008年3月12日 星期三
here we go again....
ten years after my first blog, i'm back again.
and like ten years ago, i seem to be in a bit of a funk.
you see, that's the problem. it seems that artists produce their most influential work at times of personal crisis...van gogh comes to mind...the bastard was batshit crazy but still managed to posthumously become fuckin' famous and lauded for his artwork. but me? no i'm not the same...i wish i could be, but there comes a point in time when you look around and realize that all this bullshit you have in your head is...to say the least, suffocating.
not even sure if i've been thinking straight lately. but one too many unexplainable temper tantrums that play out in my head...then subdued...which inexplicably flare up again at a later time. i'm just not sure anymore...there's so much shit i wanna say but if i start it'll be like LL's word vomit from mean girls except in my version it won't make any fucking sense. it'll be piles and piles of convoluted shit like a pile of rope with no beginning and no end. just completely fucking useless.
........ah fuck it. hopefully i'll find a bit of pleasure somewhere soon. i need it.
and like ten years ago, i seem to be in a bit of a funk.
you see, that's the problem. it seems that artists produce their most influential work at times of personal crisis...van gogh comes to mind...the bastard was batshit crazy but still managed to posthumously become fuckin' famous and lauded for his artwork. but me? no i'm not the same...i wish i could be, but there comes a point in time when you look around and realize that all this bullshit you have in your head is...to say the least, suffocating.
not even sure if i've been thinking straight lately. but one too many unexplainable temper tantrums that play out in my head...then subdued...which inexplicably flare up again at a later time. i'm just not sure anymore...there's so much shit i wanna say but if i start it'll be like LL's word vomit from mean girls except in my version it won't make any fucking sense. it'll be piles and piles of convoluted shit like a pile of rope with no beginning and no end. just completely fucking useless.
........ah fuck it. hopefully i'll find a bit of pleasure somewhere soon. i need it.
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